Speaker Boehner is: a) crazy b) lying c) cruel d) high e) all of the above

The following words emerged from the mouth of Speaker of the House John Boehner earlier today:

People want to politicize this because it’s an election year, but my God do we have to fight about everything? And now we’re going to have a fight over women’s health. Give me a break.

This is the latest plank in the so-called “War on Women,” entirely created by my colleagues across the aisle for political gain.

To what was the Speaker referring? I’ll tell you: Boehner was referring to the Republican bill to prevent the doubling of student loan rates this summer, which passed today despite Democratic opposition.

Why were Democrats opposed? I’m glad you asked:

The GOP’s bill on student loans took money from the Affordable Care Act (aka Obamacare) for preventative health care services like mammograms and immunizations, and applied those savings to cover the $6 billion cost of the interest rate extension.

So to re-cap:

The Speaker of the House, a US Representative from the Party of No, the party that has done nothing since January 2009 but oppose everything that our current President and the Democratic party have done, is yelling at the Democrats for, and I quote, “fighting about everything,” and “creating” the War on Women — even as he leads his party in defunding a women’s health provision, even as his fellow Republicans strip away women’s rights in matters reproductive and economic in a froth and fury, as if the very hounds of hell were nipping at their heels.

I cannot. I cannot.

There are times when I feel like conservatives and progressives live in different countries, times when I feel like we look out our window and see different realities — and then there are the times when I feel like even language has failed us.

Dear Speaker Boehner: You keep using those words. They do not mean what you think they mean.

Or, more accurately: You keep using those words, and you know they don’t mean you’re trying to say they mean.

You’re just hoping the rest of us are too stupid to notice.