Happy Friday from C-3PO.

In which some adorable folks calling themselves the “Star Wars Club of Tunisia” do a super delightful version of Pharrell Williams’ Happy, dancing in costume through the abandoned Tatooine sets in the Tunisian desert. No, I know!

(If you happen to be unfamiliar with original, I urge you to fill that lacuna in your life’s education — click here)

h/t BuzzFeed

Thoughts on shipping.

A ship-shipping ship, shipping shipping ships. source (for the image, as well as the caption)

A ship-shipping ship, shipping shipping ships. source (for the caption as well as the image. I’m not that clever).

Not that kind of shipping. Shipping. Like when you write fan fiction (on paper or in your head) in which fictional characters fall in luuuuve with each other and (presumably, at some point) have sex and/or are permanently joined together in sacred and/or fleshy bliss. It comes from the word “relationship” – hence “shipping,” as in: “I ship Harry and Ron, everyone knows they were the real love story at Hogwarts!”

And if you don’t know it yet — yes, that really is a thing, all across the various realms of geekdom, and recently more broadly in popular culture. So you’ll have fan communities who create art or write stories or make videos that bring together two (or more) characters who were not imagined by their creator as romantically involved.

Coupla things. Thing the First, and let’s just get this out of the way: I have a thing about canon. The creator is, to my mind, God in the universe of these characters to whom we feel so attached, and thus, if JK Rowling didn’t think that Harry and Ron would fall in love — well, she would know. Plain and simple. It’s one thing to create fan art that builds on the creator’s world, but I honestly think it’s another thing entirely to upend the story as the creator intended for it to be told. In my always humble (and probably minority) opinion.

But here’s Thing the Second, and Thing the Second is actually the thing that I believe is most important.

Most of these imagined relationships (Harry-Ron, Kirk-Spock, Jess-Jules [Bend It Like Beckham], Arthur-Merlin [Merlin], Katniss-Peeta-Gale, etc and so on, ad infinitum) don’t just upend the story as originally conceived, they upend the sexuality of those involved, often because the characters are so close — their relationship runs so deep — that we do not know how to let it be friendship. We do not know how to understand need and longing and fierce loyalty, unless it’s about romance and sexuality.

And thus, to my mind, when we ship Kirk and Spock, or Arthur and Merlin, or Sam and Frodo, we’re not only doing a disservice to the creator’s vision, we’re dishonoring the characters, and revealing more about about ourselves and our society than we may have intended. 

Note, for instance, that most shipping seems to entail male characters — as a society, we’re usually ok with girls and women loving each other and expressing that love in a way that is not romantic or sexual. Men on the other hand? We really don’t know what to do with that.

So we change it. We diminish and dismiss men’s capacity for loving each other — truly, deeply loving each other — and insist that such love can only find true expression in something akin to 21st century notions of romance and sexuality.

Once upon a time, in mid-19th century America, men wrote love letters to each other — honest to God, “I haven’t been able to stop thinking of our last hours spent together,” love letters to each other. Like, it was thing. You wrote to your friends and told them how you felt.

And true to late-20th/early 21st century form, letters such as these have led some to conclude that Abraham Lincoln himself was gay, despite copious evidence to the contrary — because why else would he express such tender affection for a man? Even though I presume that at least some of the men writing these letters were, in fact, expressing an emotion to which they were otherwise unable to give voice, sheer statistics would suggest that most of them weren’t. Which is to say: We weren’t always like this, America.

I do understand that some fan fic/shipping comes in response to the appalling dearth of LGBTQ love stories in our culture, and I guess it’s easier for me, a straight woman, to not want to validate the work that some people create around a love they’d like to see expressed. I will concede that.

But beyond that, mostly it just cheeses me off. You cannot tell me that a romantic, sexual relationship between Sam and Frodo would have been deeper or more real than the relationship we are told they had; you cannot tell me that Merlin’s love for Arthur was any less because they didn’t have sex.

I’m tired of telling boys and men that they cannot, may not love each other — frankly, shipping of this kind is little more than the flip-side of guys who yell “No homo!” after a big hug. There is nothing wrong with men falling in love with other men; there is also nothing wrong with men having loving friendships.

And with that, I have likely sealed my fate in the geek community, and so I bid you adieu. It was fun while it lasted. I’ll just be over here, reading my books.

Josh Hutcherson: “I would probably list myself as mostly straight.”

Josh Hutcherson — a young man who might just make the 40-something among us long for their misspent youth, and furthermore can be seen below holding a puppy, just to make that longing more acute — appears to be a hell of a young man. If one is to believe the interviews one occasionally reads, most recently, in Out Magazine:

“I have this dream that one day, my kid’s gonna come home from school and be like, ‘Dad, there’s this girl that I like, and there’s this guy that I like, and I don’t know which one I like more, and I don’t know what to do.’ And it’d just be a non-issue, like, ‘Which one is a good person? Which one makes you laugh more?’ ”

To read the whole interview, click here – but let me warn you: You’ll have to look past an inordinate amount of fashionably applied hair gel. I mean, it won’t kill you, but honestly, Out Magazine – his hair was fine.

(Also, I may or may not have just re-watched The Hunger Games with the family and not for nothing but #TeamPeetaForLife).

Here’s Wonder Woman. [SPOILER: I am not Wonder Woman].

I intended to write something today.

In fact, that’s what it says on my To Do list: “Write something.”

Yet, though I have accomplished much, THAT has not happened.

And so, I leave you with this ding-dang awesome fan-made short Wonder Woman film, via BuzzFeed — to read an interview with Rileah Vanderbilt, the kickass woman who plays Wonder Woman, click through.

*

Man oh man, I want a Wonder Woman movie already.

PS See also: The Wonder Woman car.

In case you missed it, here’s the memo.

Women, no matter how successful, powerful, or influential, must display their bodies for public consumption, and direct their gaze toward men.

Mika Brzezinski posing with Morning Joe co-host Joe Scarborough.

Mika Brzezinski posing with Morning Joe co-host Joe Scarborough.

There is a bright, shining line between the above, and Miley Cyrus’s routine at the VMAs (a bright, shining line that appears to have eluded Mika Brzezinski).

There’s a reason that the following picture of John Lennon and Yoko Ono remains so odd, and so powerful.

lennon ono

Ryan Braun and Anti-Semites.

ryan braunSo yes: Ryan Braun, Milwaukee Brewers outfielder and America’s own “Hebrew Hammer” has accepted a 65-game suspension under a drug-testing agreement, which means (aside from anything else) that he cheated in a game which has been (let’s be honest) fairly riddled with cheaters of a similar nature. So that’s bad enough.

But then, but then! On Monday, we heard that back when he was lying about having cheated, Braun called some fellow ballplayers to try to win their support, and along the way, accused the collector of his urine sample of being not just an anti-Semite, but a Cubs fan, to boot.

As a the daughter of hard-core Cubs fans, I’m not sure which accusation could be considered the deeper cut. But I will say this: you shouldn’t be an anti-Semite. Not if you collect the urine of professional athletes, and not if you do anything else, either. (I’ll leave it up to readers to decide what they think about clinging to the Cubs).

But wait! According to Braun’s own mother, who is a Catholic, Braun “is totally not Jewish”—in 2007, USA Today reported that:

Ryan was not raised Jewish and never had a bar mitzvah, but suddenly he’s hearing from Jewish organizations claiming him as their own. 

“He’s totally not Jewish,” Diane says. “I heard some organization started called him ‘The Hebrew Hammer’.” I said, ‘Oh no.’ My mother would be rolling over in her grave if she heard that.” 

“Ryan is proud that people want to claim him now, but where were they before? You know how that stuff works.”

But hold on! It’s not even clear that Braun accused anyone of anti-Semitism! Some of the people to whom he’s supposed to have made the comments have issuedcategorical denials.

And yet, none of that has stopped actual, self-revealing anti-Semites from being just as pleasant as you might expect actual, self-revealing anti-Semites to be.

“Ryan Braun typical sneaky Jew,” tweeted one upstanding sports fan last month. “Of course Ryan Braun took steroids,” wrote another, “he’s a Jew, and last I checked, sports aren’t really their thing.”  And of course: “Bye Ryan Braun, you cheating piece of sh*t. CANT JEW YOUR WAY OUT OF IT THIS TIME.” You can read more (if you really feel the need) by clicking here.

So I don’t know. Was the guy whose unenviable job it is to collect urine an anti-Semite? Did Braun ever say that he was? Does Braun genuinely identify as a Jew, or was he forced into a virtual yarmulke and then despised for it? It’s kind of hard to say at this point.

Here’s what we do know: Braun did, in fact, dope, and then he lied about it, and then he agreed to pay a price for his unassailably awful behavior. And no matter what he did or did not say about the guy who took his pee, actual anti-Semites are a real thing.

It’s been my impression that Catholics have some pretty well-established ideas about lying and cheating and how to address those problems. But if Braun wants to tackle them through the faith of his (Israeli-born!) father, we have a special day coming up on which he can do so. Everyone’s welcome in shul on Yom Kippur.

As for the actual anti-Semites who dumped their repulsiveness on a man they presumed to be Jewish? Some sins are harder to absolve.

Crossposted from Open Zion/The Daily Beast.

Ashton Kutcher on opportunity, being sexy, and living life.

I’ll be honest, I never thought that I’d be quoting Ashton Kutcher at length — not, I stress, that I have anything against Ashton Kutcher.

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I really don’t. I mean, I know that all the hip, indie-type kids are supposed to eschew all things mainstream, and there’s little more mainstream than being a hugely successful TV and movie star, but the dude is just doing his job and doing it well. Plus which he is, if we are to be frank, very handsome. So I have nothing against him – he’s just not my jam. (Who is my jam? Let’s not discuss that here *cough*Tom Hiddleston*cough*).

But, that being the case, I never really expected to be quoting Ashton Kutcher at length. And yet here I am, about to do just that. He said the following at the Teen Choice Awards, so that room + those who watch the Teen Choice Awards were his audience — which is to say: People who don’t often hear the kind of thing he’s telling them here. The video of him saying all of the following (starting at about the 1:59 mark) is above, and it’s worth a watch, because it’s nice watching people being passionate when they say good things.

I believe that opportunity looks a lot like hard work. When I was 13 I had my first job with my dad, carrying shingles up to the roof, and then I got a job washing dishes at a restaurant, and then I got a job in a grocery store deli, and then I got a job at a factory sweeping Cheerio dust off the ground. And I’ve never had a job in my life that I was better than. I was always just lucky to have a job. And every job I had was a stepping stone to my next job. And I never quit my job until I had my next job. And so opportunities look a lot like work.

Number two: Being sexy. The sexiest thing in the entire world is being really smart. And being thoughtful. And being generous. EVERYthing else is CRAP, I promise you. It’s just crap that people try to sell to you to make you feel like less. So don’t buy it. Be smart, be thoughtful, and be generous.

The third thing is something that I just relearned when I was making this movie about Steve Jobs. And Steve Jobs said when you grow up you tend to get told that the world is the way that it is. And that your life is to live your life inside the world, and try not to get into too much trouble, and maybe get an education, and get a job, and make some money, and have a family, but life can be a lot broader than that when you realize one simple thing, and that is that everything around us, that we call life, was made up by people that are no smarter than you. And you can build your own things, you can build your own life that other people can live in. So build a life, don’t live one, build one. Find your opportunities and always be sexy. I love you guys.

Everyone’s already focusing on the middle bit, where he said those wonderful things about being sexy and the crap that we’re sold to try to make us feel like less, and I absolutely love that bit (and yes, Ashton Kutcher makes his money from selling things and being presented to the world in a conventionally attractive manner, plus he tends to date/act with women who are conventionally beautiful. That doesn’t make what he said any less true, and I would submit that for the audience in question, it gives those words a powerful added punch. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but the kids who watch the Teen Choice Awards aren’t reading this blog).

But I also really loved the bits on either side of the middle bit. Now, I’ve already written about successful people talking about striving for success and how frustrating that can sometimes be to hear, and of course, in an extemporaneous, three minute speech at the Teen Choice Awards, no one is going to hit all the important points (like the ones I made right here, if you’re wondering), but whatever: He’s right. Opportunity looks like work, and often like very hard work. Not always, but often. If you really want what you want, it will almost never be handed to you, and I think that’s a good thing to remind people from time to time, especially young people who might be venerating The Famous.

And building a life rather than just living it — finding the things that you want to build and that are meaningful to you, because you are capable, too — that’s really powerful, and really important.

Have I gotten everything I wanted in my life? Do I always feel sexy (despite the fact that I am, in fact, really smart, and try hard to be thoughtful and generous)? I think that my writing on this blog is testament to the fact that no. Because I also try to be honest.

But that doesn’t make any of the above untrue, it just makes it part of a larger whole. We cannot expect anyone to deliver all of the truth in three minutes — but we can be grateful to those who tell some of it, particularly to an audience in particular need of hearing it.

Thanks, Mr. Kutcher. You may not be my jam, but you are A-OK. If you ever see Mr. Hiddleston, please tell him I say hi.

This is VidCon, too.

vidconI haven’t been around virtually because I’ve been away physically: The boy wanted to go to VidCon, dedicated his bar mitzvah money to that precise purpose, and this past weekend, that’s where we were.

And if you’re unfamiliar with VidCon (as every single person I know in Meat Space appears to be), reading “we were at VidCon” won’t tell you much, so A) you might want to click the link I embedded above, and B) I’mma tell you a little something about it.

VidCon is an annual gathering of YouTube creators and their fans, founded by The Vlogbrothers, Hank and John Green, in 2009. It started out in a hotel basement; this year, there were about 11,500 attendees. The content created by all those YouTube creators ranges from daily vlogging, to dissemination of the news (from gossip to politics), to Harry Potter parodies, to Disney parodies (watchthiswatchthiswatchthis: “After Ever After”), to music, to scifi, to imaginary rap battles between cultural icons, to chemistry explorations/explosions, to… well, whatever you can think of and then something else you’ve never imagined.

Hank Green – self-described “Internet Guy” — is also a biochemist and environmental scientist, and John Green is also a mega-author whose The Fault in Our Stars is being made into a movie, kind of as we speak. But what they are, really, is wonderfully creative and generous people who have taken bold steps and made great stuff (such as the Crash Course series, in which John teaches literature and history, and Hank teaches science), and occasionally done very silly things, too (and, you know, not always in the good sense of “silly”…), and at every step of the way, every single moment at which their own stars have burned even just a little brighter, they have caught the hands of other people and brought them along.

And this is where we get to my point: In the course of creating what became The Vlogbrothers, John and Hank also created Nerdfighteria, the notional transglobal hometown of Nerds who fight to decrease world suck and increase world awesome — which, while not (perhaps) the most elegant way of putting things, has a way of cutting right through to the heart of the matter.

And baked right into decreasing world suck and increasing world awesome is being generous, and bringing others along, and building up rather than tearing down, and celebrating delight. It’s about being human and humane and allowing the best of everyone to emerge and not telling anyone who they are or how they must be, but letting people tell their own stories and own their own truth. And when Nerdfighteria is at VidCon, it’s not about the inevitable distance between creator and audience, but about climbing over that wall, about collaboration, and inclusion, and engagement. (Ok, here’s an example: Hank and John are forever saying that they got into all this by being impressed and moved by a different vlogger, Ze Frank [I particularly recommend his Sad Cat Diary and Human Tests], and thus all credit for the entire thing belongs to him).

This was a group of 11,000-12,000 people hugging each other, being kind to each other, feting each other’s talent and joy, and laughing a lot. I can’t tell you — I mean, I really can’t, I don’t begin to have enough of the right words for it — what it means as a parent to watch my just-barely-not-14-year-old boy move into the world through that door. The boy and I spent a lot of time entirely apart on Friday and Saturday (I was there, after all, as a facilitation device, not as a boon companion) and at any given moment, when I looked into those vast crowds, I knew he was fine. I knew he was surrounded by people who were kind and generous and laughing.

Kind and generous and laughing and mutually supportive in ways that really matter — here’s another example: At Saturday’s panel on Educational Content on YouTube (on the panel: Emily Graslie of The Brain Scoop, Derek Muller of Veritasium, Destin of Smarter Every Day, and John Green, in this case wearing his Crash Course hat), John fielded a question about his plans for future Crash Course History videos, and in among the response was a sentence that went something like this: “Here’s the problem – as a white, heterosexual, cis-gendered male, I need to acknowledge that…”. I mean, seriously. This guy and his brother (who created this why-haven’t-you-watched-it-yet video on human sexuality) are the people who founded this thing, and this is the way they talk.

Cut to the next day — the boy and I are in line at Disneyland, and he’s staring into the middle distance. Suddenly: “Mom?”

“Yes?”

“I’ve thought of another reason that men need feminism.”

The reason boiled down to the fact that our culture doesn’t allow men to unironically enjoy experiences that aren’t deemed “masculine” — but he had just emerged from two and a half days in which men all around him were doing that, and supporting women in doing whatever they want to do. Which is to say: While the boy is right that men need feminism as much as women do, he’s able to see and articulate that better after watching feminist men and women in action.

Soon after this exchange, while waiting to get on a different ride, I tweeted this:

and of all things, John Green (!) himself replied, thusly:

But that’s the thing, isn’t it? Good parenting (and the husband and I are good parents, I have no doubt about that and will wrestle to the ground anyone who says otherwise, though possibly not in front of the children, because: Role Models!) is very, very important and yes, we talk with both of our kids about all of these things, all the time.

But #vidcon — and by extension, all culture and any community that supports the kind of world-suck-decreasing-world-awesome-increasing humanity that we’re trying to teach our children — is buried deep in a moment like that one my son and I had as we waited to get on the Indiana Jones Adventure. It takes a village, for real, and VidCon isn’t just an opportunity to squeal upon seeing one’s favorite YouTubers (the boy and I didn’t squeal, but trust: there was squealing), it’s also a culture and a community that teaches 14 year old boys to think in ways that the broader culture often fails to do.

And I mean, sure: VidCon was also very, very long lines. It was also pretty Caucasian (though efforts are being made on that front, as well). It was also (if you ask me) way too much veneration of Disney musicals. And I suspect that if you were looking for it, it was also debauchery and people making the occasional bad choice, too.

But mostly it was enthusiasm and intelligence and generosity and celebrating delight and all kinds of things that I want more of in my own life, not to mention the boy’s (the girl’s).

VidCon is an annual gathering of YouTube creators and their fans – but this is VidCon, too.

And that’s my report for today. As they say in my hometown: Don’t forget to be awesome.

nerdfighter-logo

Update: Apparently there were some isolated cases of young girls being harassed/assaulted (I hope it was more the latter than the former, though I don’t know, and Lord knows the former is sufficiently terrible) at the Con — here’s John Green’s response thus far, and based on previous exposure to both Vlogbrothers, there will likely be more forthcoming.

Some thoughts on the Trayvon Martin verdict and Cory Monteith’s death.

trayvon-martin-2401) I was and remain absolutely gutted by the not-guilty verdict in the Trayvon Martin case. Legal expert Andrew Cohen does a good job of explaining how the system allows such outcomes, and Ta-Nehisi Coates is right when he explains that “The killing of Trayvon Martin by George Zimmerman is not an error in programming. It is the correct result of forces we set in motion years ago and have done very little to arrest.” The death of 17 year old Trayvon Martin, the death of 14 year old Damani Henard, the death of 22 year old Oscar Grant, the death of 17 year old Jordan Davis, the death of 13 year old Darius Simmons – these all reflect a society and a culture that have long demonized and dehumanized black people, warehoused many of them in conditions that breed despair, and then punished young black men for their own dehumanization. I cannot imagine what it was like to wake up the parent of a black boy on Sunday morning.

2) And that’s the thing: I really cannot imagine what it was like to wake up the parent of a black boy on Sunday morning. There is no way I will ever be able to feel that in my bones, never feel the resonance of history communal and personal, never know what it’s like to look at my beautiful boy and fear for his all-too American skin. I felt on Saturday night, as the news came out and the responses poured in, as if I were at a national wake, a national shiva call, that all I could do was bear witness and offer love. Mouth words that had no meaning and never could.

3) I suspect that Trayvon Martin would not want to be a symbol or have his name serve as a rallying cry. That he would rather fall in love, hang out with his friends. Eat those Skittles. But from this moment in American history, his death and his name will serve a national purpose, and if we work very hard, they will help us to perfect the union that failed him so badly. Trayvon’s death is bigger than him, because he is a portent of all that Andrew Cohen and Ta-Nehisi Coates wrote about, and a symbol of that bone-deep fear that far too many of my fellow Americans feel when they hold their boys in their arms.

4) The Saturday death of Cory Monteith, who played Finn on Glee, is a tragedy of an entirely different nature. Without yet knowing what killed a 31 year old alone in a hotel room [UPDATE 7/16/13: The coroner has ruled that his death was a result of a "mixed drug toxicity" of heroin and alcohol], the fact of Monteith’s addictions and repeated attempts at recovery suggest a powerful, and for me, agonizing picture. I’ve lost people, nearly lost people, and lived with people in the throes of addiction, and there is nothing glamorous or entertaining about it. Cory Monteith’s death was likely the end result of some pretty horrifying struggles, and given his efforts to fight his demons, his famously sweet nature, how much I’ve cared for the character he brought to life and who now dies with him, and the reactions of millions of people who loved Finn and Cory, too (many of them kids who he had inspired to seek a better reality for themselves) — his death saddens me deeply.

5) Some have complained about Americans paying more attention to Monteith’s death than to the Zimmerman verdict, often complaining in a way that paints Monteith as privileged and spoiled, as if it’s his fault that Americans pay more attention to their TV than they do to social justice. And sure: He was privileged, as a newly-famous white man, and he was probably some kind of rich. He was well-known and well-loved. And none of that mattered in his final moments. If I’m right and the death was somehow addiction-related, Cory Monteith’s final moments were not privileged. They were awful. My hope is that whatever it was, it induced sleep, and the end was painless. But the steps that brought him to that end — those were not happy steps.

6) It is possible to mourn Trayvon Martin and Cory Monteith at the same time. It is possible to look at both deaths as tragedies, and to hope that neither man died in vain — that we will wrench some new kind of justice from our justice system, that we will find better ways to reach people who are held in their pain and their addictions. That we will give our children, ourselves, and our nation new tools, tools that keep more people alive and genuinely healthy.

7) If you don’t like the way that some Americans — millions of whom felt they “knew” Cory Monteith, after years of hosting him in their living rooms — are more focused on the death of a rich, famous actor than they are on that of the young boy who was just walking home, take that up with America. Don’t badmouth a dead man for how badly he timed his terrible death.

On Star Trek and male tears.

kirk and spockSo behind. On so many things. OMG.

Among the things on which I am no longer behind, however, is Star Trek: Into Darkness; I am, however, behind on writing about it, which I intended to do the day after we saw it, which was like, what was it now (counts on fingers), ten days ago? Ish?

Be forewarned: Spoilers ahoy. (But you should have seen it by now, anyway).

Anyhow, here I am, and bottom line: It was good. Not great, certainly not as good as the original reboot (can we say that? “Original reboot”?), but pretty good, and absolutely enjoyable. Worth the money. I laughed out loud at the reference to Christine Chapel.

I do remain flummoxed as to why the men of this generation of Blockbuster Filmmaking appear congenitally incapable of writing/directing/producing so much as two female characters who actually interact with each other (seriously: JJ, Joss, Peter? What the hell?), but I’m so used to that by now that I’m not even going to bother going into it here. (More women in Hollywood would be boss, but honestly, before we even raise that question, you’d think that these men, of all men, might have cracked that particular nut on their own. Honestly). (Anyway).

No, while the women/lack of women/lack of diversity of female shapes/I could go on but I won’t… bothered me, I was more struck by something else, something positive: The men.

I’ve been a Star Trek geek since I was a child, and I believe that Star Trek, in its many iterations, is part of what is makes today’s world better than the one into which I was born. Truly. Over the course of the various series and movies, Star Trek has brought into our culture a multi-hued universe in which women could hold positions of authority, sexuality was (a little) fluid, diversity of culture was valued, and serious questions about the nature of humanity and human interaction were broached (nearly) every week (also, there was some bad fashion and way too much of Riker’s trombone, but I digress). The universe that Star Trek presented was never perfect, but it has generally been better than the one in which we actually live.

And the men have always been, ya know. Manly.

Mucho manly. Strong. Stoic. Occasionally weak at the knees over a dame, or possibly a life-altering experience, and everyone knows that Spock has been, and always shall be, Kirk’s friend. And once that’s been established, Kirk yells (ahem): “KAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHNNNNNNNNNNNNN!” because he’s manly and his friend has just died and men vow vengeance reallyreally loudly when their friends die.

But in Into Darkness, Spock and Kirk aren’t just friends. They’re loving. They love each other. When Spock looks absolutely baffled when Kirk says “I would have missed you,” Kirk rolls his eyes and sighs loudly and walks away, clearly stung and frustrated. When Uhura complains about how withholding Spock can be, she ropes Kirk into the conversation, who initially resists being roped into the conversation, but then joins in (and then, you know, somethingsomething the shuttle’s in danger! something).

By the end of the movie, Spock is no longer visibly baffled by expressions of affection, and Kirk weeps and tells Spock he’s scared, and then Spock does the little he can to try to help his friend with his fear and then, when he yells: “KAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHNNNNNNNNNNNNN!” – well, ok, that moment might be too abidingly linked with William Shatner’s Kirk to work as well as you want it to, but still, it carries a different kind of wallop.

And there are other moments in which men get to demonstrate a range of emotion and affection they are rarely allowed in mainstream film, and: Wow. I was moved, and I was grateful.

Because while there is clearly nothing wrong with love scenes between men — that is not the only way in which men love each other. That is not the only way in which men can feel tenderness and vulnerability with each other. Men shouldn’t have to be gay in order to openly love each other.

And that’s what I have to say about Into Darkness. Late, jumbled, much too rushed, but there it is. Thanks, Chris Pine and Zachary Quinto - you did great.

And now I’m off to the next thing I’m behind on.

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