Obama and Netanyahu as Bobbleheads.

Curious about President Obama’s trip to Israel and the Palestinian Authority? Behold! The Israeli Embassy in Washington is here to help!

The Embassy produced a short video in advance of the trip, which, in the spirit of our times, is meant to both inform and amuse. You’ll find it below, but just in case you’re stuck in a super boring meeting, one of those meetings at which reading the Internet is possible but watching videos would be déclassé, let me describe it for you!

Air Force One takes off—and all of North Africa and the Middle East begins to quake! All except for the Gaza Strip, which has literally disappeared from the map (maybe it fell off when the quaking began?). As the plane comes in for a landing, it sounds very much as if it might crash, which serves as an unfortunately apt metaphor for my own fears surrounding the trip, but I’m sure that was unintentional.

We zoom over an Israel that includes all of the West Bank (though there is a very neatly drawn white line around it) and the Golan Heights (no line). Thereupon follows animation of Prime Minister Netanyahu and President Obama mouthing lines from old speeches and looking unnervingly like two moderately creepy Bobbleheads. Smiles! Handshake!

And then we move into what is presumably Netanyahu’s office—they’re reading newspapers! As world leaders do when they get together! And to the strains of (hand to God I am not making this up) the Golden Girls theme song, Bibi and Barack drop the newspapers, smile, make a move as if they’re about to make out—and shake hands again! Fade out, as the words “The United States & Israel Ultimate Allies” come up on the screen.

Not just allies, not even “major strategic partners” as some (*cough* AIPAC *cough*) would have Congress rebrand the relationship—no, no! We Are The Ultimate Allies!

…aaaand scene. You’re welcome.

13 Comments

  1. Lise

     /  March 20, 2013

    Odd how they edited out “you’re a pal and a confidente” from the theme from The Golden Girls. Maybe Bibi promised he’d only sing that to Mitt.
    Mondo Bizarro.

    • Because of course: THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT I NOTICED. I couldn’t really fit it into the short little thing I was writing, but, yes! What a weird place to cut it off! (And what poor audio editing skills!) My thought was that we’re Ultimate Allies, but we should probably know that Israel will gossip behind our backs at the drop of a hat.

      • Lise

         /  March 23, 2013

        You know Bibi called Mitt from the trailer on the tarmacas soon as Barack’s plane took off to talk trash.

  2. Tenar Darell

     /  March 20, 2013

    Hag sameach Emily!

    As for video, Yech! Why? Which leads to, next week at dinner I’m going to have to avoid speaking about Israel (except for what it says in the Haggadah) with certain relatives, sigh.

  3. It makes me want to weep and laugh at the same time.

  4. Some embassies just shouldn’t be allowed near Flash…

  5. Who the hell is going to be convinced, of…what? By that ratty piece of shit.

    someone is isn’t taking something very seriously.

  6. Wow, that is unimaginably bad!