Powerful man in Hollywood: “We’ve reached peak vagina.” Me: O rly?

In the secret recesses of my heart, I maintain a list of Famous Jews who are invited to my Fantasy Seder. I wrote about it once, and the list includes such luminaries as Jon Stewart, Barney Frank, and Elena Kagan.

I think I’m going to have to start a second list, though, the These Jews May Never Step Foot in My House list.

Senator Joe Lieberman, for one.

Avigdor Lieberman (Israel’s Foreign Minister), for two.

And as of today,  Lee Aronsohn, co-creator of  that paragon of comedic greatness, Two and a Half Men, for three.

“Why, Emily?” you ask, and not unreasonably. “Why such an inhospitable attitude toward your brother Lee?” I’ll fucking tell you why:

Aronsohn isn’t a fan of the current crop of female-centered comedies such as Whitney and 2Broke Girls.

“Enough, ladies. I get it. You have periods,” he said.

Aronsohn applauded women like Whitney Cummings, Chelsea Handler and Tina Fey securing a voice to discuss formerly taboo subjects on TV.

“But we’re approaching peak vagina on television, the point of labia saturation,” he said.

The current boom in female-centric TV contrasts with Two and a Half Men mostly portraying women as bimbos, something Aronsohn isn’t about to apologize for.

“Screw it,” Aronsohn earlier told the Toronto conference during a keynote address. “We’re centering the show on two very damaged men. What makes men damaged? Sorry, it’s women. I never got my heart broken by a man.”

The mind boggles – nay, it reels! There are a handful of shows featuring female protagonists on the teevee – oh noes! Half the population is getting a smidge-bit of coverage! Best stop that mess right now! PEAK VAGINA HAS BEEN REACHED!!1!

There’s a big piece of me that wants to rip this asshole a new asshole, but a blessedly larger piece of me knows that he’s not worth it – nor would he listen, were he (by some bizarre happenstance) to happen upon this blog. Any person willing to reduce half of humanity to their reproductive systems and demand they cede the stage to those with different genitalia is not really open to a conversation. Is what I’m thinking.

His bon mots should, however, be borne in mind when we think about the relatively low number of women in positions of power in Hollywood, not to mention the paucity of good roles for women — these facts are not the result of mere bad luck. They are the result of the power wielded by men like Lee Aronsohn, who feel comfortable announcing that they’re sick and tired of lady bits getting all up in their entertainment.

We get it Lee. You have a are a dick!

And if I ever get to hold my Fantasy Seder? You are so not invited!

So there.

15 Comments

  1. So, it’s already bad enough, but the crack about men only being damaged by women also seems to be leaving out gay men. Do they never have their hearts broken?

    • I thought that too! And like: Are there no other ways to turn out comedically damaged? Surely there are! Surely all of comedy shows that we can get spritzed in the face with all MANNER of seltzer! (If you see what I mean).

      This guy.

      • chingona

         /  April 3, 2012

        Well, your mother can fuck you up, too.

  2. wearyvoter

     /  April 2, 2012

    Damn, that’s one bitter, bitter little man.

    • Srsly. I mean, I don’t want to arm-chair psychoanalyze, and who knows? Maybe he’s very happy and has a full life and these sorts of comments are part of a shtick, of sorts.

      But it’s a shtick that suggests a bitter, bitter little man. At the very least: A man I wouldn’t want to have to have a conversation with.

  3. aaron singer

     /  April 2, 2012

    I don’t care about this bozo.

    I just want to know who else you’d invite to your “Fantasy Seder!”

    • aaron singer

       /  April 2, 2012

      Nevermind—I read the link!

      • (But that’s not really everyone. There are a few names that are in my heart but that I can’t put on the screen because I have actual, occasional contact with these people over the intertrons, and were they to see me geeking out on them, I might die. Though Alyssa Rosenberg asked last night if she could be on my AA list and I was all “…uh… you’re already on the A list…” So they’re not ALL so secret anymore!)

  4. Captain Button

     /  April 3, 2012

    Does “Peak Vagina” mean it is time to sell out before the market collapses?

    Should I sell vagina futures short?

  5. SWNC

     /  April 3, 2012

    You know, stuff like this explains why I watch very little TV and see few Hollywood movies. When the movers and shakers make it clear that I’m nothing more than a set of genitals, I lose all desire to consume their product.

    • The other thing is that this makes no sense whatsoever from an economics standpoint. Women are 50% of the market! Why wouldn’t they want to make more media that women will actually be interested in consuming? It’s money left on the table.

  6. Thanks for this post! I love this article from Soraya Chemaly: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/soraya-chemaly/5-ways-to-help-kids-under_b_1130008.html. My favorite passage is no 3: Teach boys and girls about the Bechdel Test and make it a useful tool for evaluating a movie and can be extended to explain stories told in books and games. To pass the test, a movie has to have at least two women characters who talk to one another about something other than a man in the movie. Some variations of this test ask that the women actually have, god forbid, names. You’d be amazed, once you start thinking about it, how few movies pass this test. There is a great site that keeps a running tab.

    It’s changed the way I watch movies and television. And don’t get me started on the looksist double-standard!

  7. Would add Bernie Madoff to the do-not-invite to seder list. Then again, he isn’t going anywhere, regardless.

    • aaron singer

       /  April 3, 2012

      Oh, that list is too long in my head to try and enumerate them all. It’s almost too bad we’re not like the Catholic Church who can excommunicate people.

  8. Adam

     /  April 7, 2012

    I wonder if Norman Finklestein and Noam Chomsky(you know, that linguistics professor who makes common cause with holocaust deniers and Hezbollah leaders) would be on your list of Jews who never set foot in your house?