In which I contemplate a move to Mars – or: Birtherism is back.

No, really.

Arizona Sheriff Joe Arpaio dove head first into the birther movement on Thursday, arguing at a news conference in Phoenix that President Obama’s birth certificate is a fake and that crimes were committed in its creation.

…“It’s not over,” the sheriff said during the hour-long event. “This investigation is not over.”

The good news is that at least some members of the Sheriff’s own party, the Arizona GOP, are distancing themselves from the filth:

“Sheriff Joe reveals results of his Obama birth ‘investigation’ today,” former state Attorney General Grant Woods wrote on Twitter. “To say he has become an embarrassment is an understatement.”

Because, of course:

The bulk of the evidence that Arpaio’s investigators presented to the reporters seemed to come from theories that have been thoroughly debunked by other sources, including the conservative National Review Online.

Look. The multitudinous and myriad ways in which this entire conspiracy theory is racist, dangerous, crazy, and just plain wrong (in both senses of the word) eclipse my ability to even list them right now. I am like a fish gasping for air on the shore and wishing that she lived among a better class of fish. Humans. Whatever. I can’t stand it.

Here’s what some black folks had to say about this scandalous smear on our President’s name, back when he produced the goddamn long-form in the first place: “White Americans really need to shut up and listen.”

Here’s me expressing my constantly-on-low-boil fear for our President’s safety, because of the cumulative effect of the attacks on his legitimacy to serve: “The simple truth is that I fear for the President’s life.”

I wish I had a link to what Hawaiians are saying about this, because honest to God, do you think we’d be hearing this if he had been born on the mainland? (You know, where the white people live?) Every time the President goes home for vacation, it’s treated like he’s flown off to a foreign resort.  IT’S A STATE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. (Mind you, his father was Kenyan and he is black. We’d probably still be hearing it. Because racist fearmongering must trump all!!1!)

That’s all I got: This is happening, still happening, happening again, because some people are so pickled in their hate and bigotry that they have gone and floated off from terra firma all together. And it makes me want to find a different world in which to live.

The end.



  1. Darth Thulhu

     /  March 2, 2012

    Mars is a very uneconomical destination. Commuting would be a major hassle.

    May I suggest that Newt would be happy to set you up in a Moonbase? Eventually, in his Land of Imagination, this new Moonbase home would even become an American State.

    • At least it’s not the Land of Make Believe. Poor Daniel Striped Tiger would never know what hit him….

    • Captain Button

       /  March 2, 2012

      Of course, if those nuclear waste dumps on the far side explode, communting because even more problematic than for Mars.

  2. dmf

     /  March 2, 2012

    I say give them a brighter spotlight, a bigger microphone/platform, and more rope.
    I prefer bigots who are upfront and clear about what they believe especially when it comes to politics and the GOP are in rare form this year.

    • There is that. And I actually agree with you in the main. I’m just really not enjoying the process!

      • dmf

         /  March 2, 2012

        that’s democracy for you, I say rather than joining the snakes in the weeds let’s focus on beating these vile people in the voting booths and in the legislatures where we can make a difference that makes a difference, we may be dealing with ballots not bullets but there are lives at stake

    • Fuck yeah. I love this shit. Birtherism is the rock from under which all the maggots have crawled and exposed themselves to the light of day.

  3. 7:30 in the morning today and we already had one of the local strange folk asking if we can find the President’s birth certificate and his madrassa in Indonesia.

    I really don’t like what Obama’s been doing with his time in office, but I really really can’t stand Arpaio.

    • “Local strange folk”? I hope this just means that you’re slinging hash or answering phones, not working in a GOP-heavy industry.

  4. MommyArtist Lawyer

     /  March 2, 2012

    For the longest time I thought ignorance and misinformation drove the animosity toward President Obama. Now I believe it is some kind of psychosis.

  5. helensprogeny

     /  March 2, 2012

    I actually see this – and especially someone like Arpaio – as the last gasp of a dying breed struggling for relevance. It IS ugly, no doubt. But seriously, this is all you’ve got? Really? Some warmed-over “controversy” that has been thoroughly debunked? This is your best shot? It’s almost sad, and reminds me of nothing more than a small child trying to manipulate a parent into letting him have his way after already having been told “no”.

    Wave bye-bye.

    • dmf

       /  March 2, 2012

      more anti-immigrant legislation/enforcement is being enacted than any liberal perspectives/legislation, we are losing there like we are with abortion-rights and other forms of healthcare and other areas like regulation and separation of church and state, this meme of the passing of the dinosaurs is very dangerous.

  6. Why is it when the haters are spewing this crap and we sane normal people call them on it, they’re the ones to say “if you don’t like it, why don’t YOU leave”?

    As though our love for America has no value, and their hate for it does.

    We’re not the ones who should be fleeing for other planets. The haters are. We’re good where we are, and how we are with each other. The likes of Limbaugh, Sheriff Joe, and ex-Breitbart – the haters – are the ones who don’t belong.

    I love America. I love women’s rights. I love choice. I love attempts to reduce out-of-control costs in health care and higher education. I love college. I love football and sports. I love apple pies and strawberries fresh from Plant City FL. I love universal voting rights. I love campaign and electoral reform. I love playing MMOs. I love Warthog A-10s. I love libraries and reading. I love comic book heroes. I love my kittehs. I love my friends and family.

    I’d rather be defined by my loves over my hates. When was the last time you heard Rush list all the things he loves? Considering all the hate he talks about, I can’t recall the last time he ever said he loved anything, period…