It’s gone up to 11 long enough.

So. Christmas.

The day after Hanukkah was over, I thought “Suckers! The rest of America still has much holiday madness to come, but I’m done!” And then I added, with a self-satisfied smirk, “Ha!”

I forgot that I live in America, too.

Because if you live in America, you are hounded by the frenzy of the winter holiday season no matter who you are, what you believe, and what you do or do not celebrate*. The radio, the TV, and the stores I frequent care not that Christmas is not my thing — they still want me to BUY and CELEBRATE and BUY and GET WORKED UP and BUY and WATCH YET ANOTHER CHRISTMAS-THEMED SHOW and mostly BUY!!1!

And you know what? Fine. I’m a minority here, and minorities just have to deal sometimes with the fact that they’re minorities. The majority culture is having its annual moment, and what the hell, the lights are pretty and some of the music is really, really nice, not to mention the very genuine spirit of kindness and generosity that prevails. Lovely!

But could y’all just shut up about it now and then?

I finally realized this week that my problem isn’t being other-than-Christian in a culture gearing up for Christmas — my problem is that I’m a damn crank and I get tired of everybody yammering on and on about something that interests me not in the least.

I feel the same way about football season, about March Madness (fucking hell, I don’t care one eeny-weeny iota about March Madness, and yet I still somehow know what a bracket is!), about reality TV, about celebrity gossip, about — oh, so many things at which I can hardly even shake a stick! It’s exhausting, that’s what it is.

Honestly, go ahead and have your holiday! Enjoy your little sporting events! Talk about people you don’t know as if they were your trashy second cousins! Have at it!

But please, please: Don’t make me go off the grid just to get some damn peace and quiet!

This though? This can be played in a loop for as long as anyone wants to. Best Christmas song EVAR!

“Hippopotamuseses”!

*Full disclosure: I’ve already established that I am, more than anything else, a Jew, but I am also technically a convert, a convert who happens to love her mother, and so I take my wee family over to Grandma’s on Christmas afternoon so that her grandchildren can “help her” celebrate the holiday. Because I’m not a monster, that’s why.

Cross-posted at Angry Black Lady Chronicles.

4 Comments

  1. dmf

     /  December 14, 2010

  2. I’m with you, ee. I wrote an editorial back in…wanna say eighth grade about the commercialization of Christmas, and it’s only gotten worse since then. I saw (not heard ‘coz I mute) my first Christmas carol on October 6 this year. Really.

    I don’t celebrate Christmas. I don’t watch reality TV shows. I don’t care about spo–scratch that. I love sports. I just don’t talk about them much.

    I love winter because I love snow (12″) and cold, but I hate the endless holiday season. However, I do love one Christmas carol. Here is an uber-cool version of it.

    (I used to play the cello).

  3. I yearn for the days when Christmas was merely a overcommercialized, instead of overcommercialized in addition to hyperpoliticized.

    Oh, and on behalf of all Gentiles I apologize for Paul McCartney’s “Wonderful Christmastime”. Had John lived he would never have done anything that lame, I’m sure of it. (Unless, of course, you like that song. In which case, um, you’re welcome?)

  4. I get annoyed with some of the Christmas overkill, but mostly I love that we have a month-long festival of lights, feasting, and gifts to beat back the Solstice. Because DAMN is it dark all the bleeping time. Also about ten degrees this month, which is totally uncalled-for. So Christmas trees and roast beast and hot cocoa can have it.

    I do wish, though, that Christmas would go back to starting at Thanksgiving and not at Labor Day.