…like a girl, con’t.

A funny thing happened on my way to writing last night’s post.

You can see from the time it was posted (after midnight) that it didn’t emerge easily — the emotions did, but not the verbalizing. As I wrote and deleted, wrote and rephrased, it came to me that these insults and slurs, this way of talking about half of the species, is so thoroughly ingrained in our culture, that it was actually hard for me to communicate effectively why the whole thing is so awful. So I was toggling back and forth a lot between the post and Twitter, the post and other sites, the post and Twitter….

And lo, what’s this weird trending topic? “#aregaytothe10thpower” WTF?

All of Twitter was abuzz with folks making brilliants witticisms like “Dudes who wear makeup, tight jeans, & eye liner #AreGayToThe10thPower” and “Crocs#aregaytothe10thpower” and “If u carry a man purse u #AreGayToThe10thPower.” (Yes,really. Just as I am not always proud of all Americans, I am not always proud of everyone in the Twitter Nation). The good news was that a whole lot of people were also responding with things like “#aregaytothe10thpower is an offensive #tt. what stupid asshole came up with that?” and “Gay teens are committing suicide because of bullying & yet everyone on twitter is fine with #aregaytothe10thpower as a trending topic. k.” and “Me and nine of my close friends #aregaytothe10thpower. (C’mon people, don’t get mad about an anti-gay trending topic; reclaim it!)” So in its own crazy way, the whole thing was actually a conversation about anti-gay bigotry and hate speech, certainly more of a conversation than would have been had openly in the not-so-distant past.

But what was weird for me was that as I was writing the post, before I noticed the Twitter bullshit (which, by the way, I only noticed because I follow the gentleman who tweeted that last tweet, Christopher Stedman, aka NonProphetStat. Once I clicked on the #, though, I was reading dozens and dozens of stupid, ignorant shit that is usually nowhere near my Twitter experience), I was already thinking about how the verbalized contempt for women is similar to our verbalized contempt for LGBT people. It’s still ok, in schools and Hollywood blockbusters alike, to describe something as “gay,” meaning “stupid and lame” — and that’s just fucking wrong, and we have only begun to grapple with it. Witness the Twitter idiocy.

So then: I’m going along, happily noting and occasionally retweeting the good responses, and I run across one gentleman who was decrying the “IGNORANCE” of the people tweeting under that hashtag — calling them “cunt asses.”

Aaaand full circle.

In defending gay people from the use of the word “gay” as a pejorative, this entirely well-meaning person mocked the “#aregaytothe10thpower” morons with a word that describes my genitalia.

I have no new, grand conclusion to draw, other than to say: There’s your sign.

And I have to get out the door with some lovely women friends very soon, and so I will leave it there for now. But first I will give you this bit of sweetness, to take away the sour as the weekend begins: An absolutely adorable clip by an insanely talented South African singer to whom I was introduced the other day by my 11 year old son. This, my friends, is how Grease should have ended. Watch and smile!

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  1. Sydnew

     /  November 5, 2010

    Oh, awesome video, thank you.

  2. Love the video. Needed it. Ta.

  3. dmf

     /  November 6, 2010

  4. At last! We agree: That IS how Grease should have ended.

  5. Another wonderful thing to thank you for…

    *rushes off to buy “Pot belly” on iTunes*