Did you ever think…?

So there I am, thinking about, oh, I don’t know, health care reform. Or the new treaty with the Russians. Or maybe the fact that I really meant to buy a rake last night when I was at Target and I forgot. You know: Stuff.

And then, huh! Out of nowhere, almost unbidden (I say “almost” because these things are actually kind of bidden in my life, because I like weirdness), a thought comes. A thought that makes me go: Huh!

Und zo: Following is a wee grocery list of some of the unbidden/bidden thoughts that have floated into My Head lately, and tickled my odd little fancy:

  1. Remember back when I wrote about the fact that there are fully 14 ways in which I can not be communicated with? (Bear with me on the grammar here). It has since occurred to me that, should my father come back to life — my father who died when he was 35 years old, in July of 1965 — he would literally not recognize 12 of those methods of communication/non-communication. Well, 12 1/2, because while he would recognize both snail mail and telephones, he would not recognize answering machines (and certainly not voice mail). So, yeah. Should I ever manage to bring him back, I will have a LOT of ‘splainin’ to do.
  2. I would rather my son marry a male Jew than a female non-Jew. Which I suppose means that Judaism means something to me, but heteronormativity doesn’t. (Same for the girl, natch). Which, you know: Good!
  3. I would rather be considered smart and bad, than stupid and good. And given how much I invest in trying to be good, that’s saying something. So, you know, I’m not proud of this fact or anything, but there it is.
  4. One of my favorite one-liners of self-mockery is: “I’m perfectly capable of contradicting myself — I have a bicameral mind.” A friend of my brother’s said this once in my hearing and it has stayed with me ever since, because it is just damn true, my friends. My mind? She is bicameral. Yet it occurred to me just the other day that much as I may love this line, it is of surpassingly limited use, because rare is the person who remembers, off the top of their heads, that our legislative system is “bicameral” (made up of two separate houses). And if you have to explain your geeky self-mockery, it’s not really all that funny anymore, is it?
  5. And finally, in a bid to lose all my fans and many of my loved ones, I’ll share this: It has come to me that America’s endless fascination with and appetite for organized sports is a source of genuine irritation for me. Honestly. I wish y’all would just shut up sometimes. (And yes, I know I just don’t understand. But I live with a man who watches all the major sports on the TV machine, and the occasional non-major one as well, and I grew up in the home of a die-hard Cubs fan — if my mother and husband have failed to win me over, I believe I may be a lost cause).
Next Post


  1. 5. I have to say I’ve never understood the sports thing either. I guess if you spend a lot of time playing, then you tend to care more? I did organized soccer and basketball as a kid (1 season each), but nothing really stuck with me. The one sport than I can stand to occasionally (ie if I see a clip on the internet and it lasts less than 3 minutes) is soccer. Preferably non-English speaking soccer.

    2. I would rather my kids marry than not… that’s all I’ve got there.

  2. dmf

     /  April 8, 2010

    help me out here if your jew-ishness has the plasticity to include gay marriage what isn’t negotiable?
    not even a little proud of being smart than?
    played many sports in my able bodied youth still like to watch them played well but could never relate to being a team-fan, that’s some kind of vicarous/imaginary type nostalgia/bonding thing that i don’t get, like when people tell me that they like a book but what they like isn’t in the book but in the story that they tell themselves while reading the book and or in their identification with characters.
    what’s with the “bi” and what have you done with our beloved multitudes MoFo?
    was hugging on your list cuz i would imagine that with the return of the absent father of history hugging would be the primary (with lots of tears) means of communication, sorry to hear about your loss i can’t imagine my dad’s dad died when he was 7 and he is a haunted man.

  3. I’m with you on #2, 3, and 5: Jewishness, smartness, and sports. Perhaps your bicameral mind explains why you try hard to be good but also want to be bad (and smart). And that bit of psychoanalysis was free of charge.

    I have also been thinking of my father lately, who died when I was just shy of 27 and he was 64: how I still miss him. How I miss being someone’s little girl. My father was a typesetter displaced by computerization – which is sometimes how I feel when my spouse raves about his soon-to-be-purchased iPad and I just want to read a real, honest to goodness made out of paper book.

  4. I love number two because of its possibilities for discussion in the Jewish blogosphere and a unique look at the subject. I wonder what most Jewish bloggers would say about it. If those that are adamant that their kids marry Jewish (like me, although no offspring yet and like my mother, who succeeded in clearing my path to a Nice Jewish Boy), would we accept homosexuality over goyim? It’s an interesting thought game to play.