On the evolution of the political class regarding marriage equality.

stonewall-300x202I’m seeing a lot of moaning, groaning, dismissal, and general snark about the fact that ALL OF A SUDDEN, it’s politically expedient for national politicians to say that they support marriage equality.

Coupla things.

First of all, these are politicians. These are people whose literal bread and butter rests in judging the public mood and working to achieve a political end which will enable them to continue to earn their bread and butter. For the most part, radical politicians don’t get remembered because they don’t get elected, and elected politicians who think outside their party’s box either have to walk very carefully and learn how to pick battles and balance needs, or they get primaried. You will recall that Barney Frank himself didn’t come out until he was already in the Senate House, and he reports that he “almost lost on suspicion.”

Second, this is how society goes. There’s a problem — A Big Problem — such as slavery, or women’s right to participate in the democratic process, or the denial of civil rights to LGBTQ Americans, and outliers recognize it before anyone else. They lead their people to freedom on dark roads, or they risk violence to go to Seneca Falls, or they build barricades outside the Stonewall Inn in heels and a feather boa, and they shout righteousness to the world. They shame us, so we ignore them, we demonize them, we try to silence them, we often try to kill them. We do this, again and again, with varying levels of violent intent, but even as we do, a few more people hear the shouts, a few more people see the humans doing the shouting, and a few more people come around. A little. They come around a little, and then a little more, and then they bring a few more people with them, because while they may not be shouting, they’re speaking, and now, now, now, the edges of the mainstream are talking and seeing the world in a different light, and the shouts and the speaking goes on, and now, now, now, the edges close in closer to each other and we still try to ignore them, and demonize them, and silence them, and we still kill them, but there are more and more voices, more shouts and more whispers and more people standing silent witness and now, now, now — the mainstream sees. The mainstream changes. The outliers, the freaks, the demons become the pioneers, the leaders, the role models. And now: That’s where we are. The mainstream has changed.

The world would be a better place if all people could equally value the shared human dignity of all people — but we don’t do that. We never, ever have. We have to be taught, again and again, not to hate (whatever the song from South Pacific might have us think). And the only way people will be taught, is if other people do it.

I’m not contained in any of the letters in “LGBTQ,” so if someone who is wants to tell me to take a seat, I will find a seat and take it. But for my money, this is not a day for snark, but a day for genuine joy — let us rejoice and be glad in it! (To borrow a phrase).

It is a fine thing when the bandwagon jumpers jump on the wagon of social justice. It is a fine thing when politicians begin to repeat the words that we’ve been saying for years. Evolution is a damn fine thing.

So rather than snark, maybe send a thank you note and a donation to GLAAD or Lambda Legal, or any of the folks who have been on the front lines all these long years, and will continue to be on the front lines, long after the rest of us (especially the straight of us) think we can sit back and don some laurels.

And allow yourself a smile. Because it is a fine thing to be alive at a time such as this.

President Obama at the Newtown vigil.

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Please – call the White House and Congress and tell them that you support good gun legislation. We have to flood them with our support, and we have to do it right now. Please.

White House: 202-456-1111

US Representatives & Senators: 202-224-3121

On code switching.

The other night saw yet another in what is shaping up to be an endless series of right-wing efforts to find something that’ll stick to the President and reveal him as (make him look like) an evil no-goodnik. Given that last night’s effort involved a speech given in public, five years ago, before he was even President, which had already been covered multiple times in multiple venues, both print and broadcast — it was, shall we say, a particularly weak (if loudly trumpeted) effort.

That didn’t stop Matt Drudge, The Daily Caller (Tucker Carlson’s joint), and Fox News/Sean Hannity from reallyreally trying to go all-in, though. Like, to the extent that Hannity briefly performed his version of what he believes to be Al Gore’s version of sounding “like” a Black preacher, and just – wow.

It would all be quite comical if it weren’t so damaging. I think that we tend to forget just how much air gets taken up by this kind of bloviating, how much effort and energy that could be better spent elsewhere, not to mention how exhausting I can only guess it must be for that 12-18% of Americans who happen to be black and for whom this kind of dehumanizing nonsense is part of their daily lives.

As I understand it, the outrage that Drudge, Carlson, and Hannity were attempting to gin up is rooted in the fact that our black President (who, I don’t know if you’ve noticed this? Is black) speaks like a black man when speaking to black people. His vocabulary changes, his cultural touchstones and references, his cadence and rhythm, are not quite what they are when speaking to groups that are not made up entirely or mostly of African Americans. In the argot of our day: He code switches.

And that drives them nuts.

Because no black person should ever say anything that a white person (/man in power) can’t understand.

No black person should, let’s see, reference a Common song, or the jokes told at their last family reunion (oh, the black folks and their family reunions, mirite?), or, I don’t know, make any direct reference to the fact that their experience in this country is not the same as that of white people and in fact has been objectively more difficult than the experiences of most white people. What with the slavery. And the segregation. And the Jim Crow. And the being targeted disproportionately by police. And the being expected to not be as smart. And the being presumed lazy. And the voter suppression. And your whatnot.

So yeah. Black folks code switch. When speaking among themselves, they make reference to ideas and experiences to which white people often have no access, switching to a more white-friendly mode of discourse when the audience changes. In the not-very-distant past, code switching was, in fact, a survival mechanism, both in the sense of “I need to keep this job,” and in the sense of “I’d rather not be killed.” You know how many years passed between Emmett Till’s murder and the birth of our current President? Six. Six years. Do you think the knowledge of Emmett Till might still be ringing in the ears of some African Americans today? Maybe?

But here’s the other thing: In attempting to ding our first black President for code switching, not only do people like Drudge, Carlson, and Hannity refuse to acknowledge a reality that is everywhere before them — they are continuing to indulge in an essential dehumanization of this country’s black citizens, from the President on down.

Because you know who else code switches?

Everybody.

Every single person on earth who is in a society of more than one is required to code switch in the course of his or her day if they are to stand any hope of successful communication.

As a woman, I code switch with men. As a Jew, I code switch with non-Jews. As an adult, I code switch with children.

But people like Drudge, Carlson, and Hannity feel they have a right to demand the access to everyone’s code. They have a right to over-write and nullify code they don’t like. And if you continue to insist on your unalienable right to your humanity and autonomy, they will deny that right to the heavens. Because they don’t like your tone.

The good news is that the African American in question today is in the White House, and not a 14 year old boy, beaten and drowned in the Tallahatchie River. And that those who would deny his right to the same humanity they enjoy are widely perceived as having thrown a tantrum — trolls, who over-reached.

That difference is of almost incalculable importance.

But it clearly hasn’t ended the problem.

We need to continue to stand up to and reject the racist, dehumanizing tantrums thrown by the likes of Drudge, Carlson, and Hannity — and the indulgence they are offered by people who continue to nod their heads.

There’s a fair bit of perfecting that we still have to do in building this union. And an entire class of people who aren’t particularly interested in seeing that happen.

What is white privilege, pt II.

In the wake of the Trayvon Martin killing, I wrote a post called “What is white privilege.” As of today, I think that post can pretty well be summed up thusly:

If you watch the following and realize that you have never needed to share any of these tips with anyone you love, you’re living with a very particular kind of privilege.

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This is our America. What are we going to do about it?

For more about the song and the clip, click hereh/t @elonjames and @jasiri_x

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Please also see: 

What is white privilege.

Abraham Lincoln as he was.

I am not a fan of colorization.

When Ted Turner raised the specter of “colorizing” Hollywood classics back in the day (I’m pretty sure “the day” here refers to the early-mid 1980s), I was horrified. Scandalized. You do not take an artist’s work and scribble on it with your magic markers, because you think it might make you some money. Just: No.

However, I am an enormous fan of found-color-photography, such as these stunning photos out of a Wyoming internment camp for Japanese Americans or these equally stunning shots of small-town American life, circa 1939-1943 – that is, color photography that few people guessed existed, and which provide us a much better glimpse into the lives that people actually lived.

And then I recently found a colorized picture of our sixteenth President, and it did my head in.

I’ve seen colorized photographs of Abraham Lincoln before, and my response has always been — Just: No.

Either he looked like someone had applied rouge, or I felt someone was essentially making fashion choices for someone they’d never met, or – whatever. Just: No.

But something about the subdued, very realistic rendering of the coloring of his face and hair, and the fact that his suit has been left a crisp (and, by my lights, appropriate) black had me just staring at this picture, and suddenly seeing everything I know about Lincoln in color. His wife, his children, his walk to his law office in Springfield, the drapes in the White House. It made him – bigger, somehow. Fuller. More real? More real. Because that Legendary Lincoln we’ve built lives in black and white — but Lincoln lived in color.

So anyway, here’s the shot – I’ve printed it out, and it now hangs right next to my desk. I wish I could hear his voice, too.

Yaaaaaaay!!!

I’m a wee bit weepy, I’m very excited, I’m not really surprised, and I’m covered in goosebumps.

I’ve long suspected that the President was taking a Lincolnian tack on the issue of gay marriage, keeping his support in his back pocket, so to speak, until such time as he saw that the rest of the country wouldn’t be completely thrown for a loop by it, and then: Boom. And I believe that’s what he did — and I don’t really believe that Joe Biden’s “gaffe” was a “gaffe.” Biden meant it, and if the President hadn’t wanted to reply, he wouldn’t have.

After all, this is the administration that repealed DADT, de-fanged DOMA, has hired/appointed (if memory serves) more than 200 out gays and lesbians (not to mention the first out trans-gendered person in history), so on and so forth. This is completely of a piece with what’s been going on under Obama’s watch since day one (and indeed, since that first time he said he backed gay marriage, back in 1996).

So I’m not surprised. But I am absolutely thrilled.

On the ground, of course, it means nothing. North Carolina still has a vile new amendment to its Constitution, and gay men and women can’t run out and get hitched on the President’s say-so.

But when the President says a thing, it is huge. This, my friends, is a big fucking deal.

And a very, very proud day for America.

image source

President Obama & Charles Hamilton Houston, pt II – a guest post by socioprof.

My friend and fellow denizen of Ta-Nehisi Coate’s Golden Horde, the lovely and delightful socioprof, took President Obama’s 21 year old “Black History Minute” and moved the ball forward in a comment that evening in the Open Thread – and her comment is so full of win, that I had to make a post of it. Thanks, socioprof!

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There is such a beautiful (and long) thread here, socioprof wrote after watching the clip.

The man that our President lauds some 20 years ago is Charles Hamilton Houston. Houston attends Harvard Law and is the first Black person named to the Harvard Law Review.

He later trains Thurgood Marshall, the NAACP lawyer who (along with Houston and others from the NAACP) successfully argued before the Supreme Court, convincing Warren and his Court that separate was indeed unequal, and was ultimately the first Black person appointed to the Supreme Court.

Marshall has a young, female law clerk while serving on the high court. After Houston’s death, there was a professorship named at Harvard in his honor. Marshall’s young, female law clerk – Elena Kagan – held that professorship.

In a parallel stream, a Harvard law professor, Charles Ogletree, teaches a Black woman from Chicago’s South Side named Michelle Robinson, and then some skinny kid, also from Chicago – though by way of Hawaii and Indonesia – with a funny name, famously big ears, and a White Kansan mother and a Black Kenyan father. That kid with the name and ears goes on to become the first Black person to serve as president of the Harvard Law Review.

Ogletree continues to mentor the kid and goes on to found the Charles Hamilton Houston Institute for Race and Justice at Harvard Law with the support of Harvard Law Dean, Elena Kagan.

Five years later, that kid with the ears is President of these United States and appoints Kagan to the Supreme Court.

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I’m sorry, sometimes American history is just a little bit grand.

The simple truth is that I fear for the President’s life.

Lately, I’ve been slacking off.

Was a time, I worried constantly about the President’s safety. This President’s safety. The safety of Barack Hussein Obama, our first African-American Commander in Chief. Indeed, I’ve been worried about him since he declared his candidacy — particularly after I wrote a letter to the editor in support of said candidacy and got in return for my trouble a letter threatening both my life and his.

But, you know. One gets lulled by the Secret Service’s success at keeping the President alive. A little numb to the endless drumbeat of hate. There’s a constant hum of noxious rhetoric, but if one were to be constantly attuned to it, one would lose one’s mind. So one has let down one’s guard.

But you know what? Guard? Back up.

It was Arizona governor Jan Brewer who did it for me, by announcing to the world that she felt “a little bit threatened” by the President when he visited her fair state the other day. Because at a certain point, you realize that they’re not even using dog whistles anymore — they’ve moved on to fog horns and disco balls.

Add up enough “skinny, ghetto crackhead” comments, enough voters yelling “string him up,” enough judges still open to the idea that the President isn’t eligible to be the President, enough “food-stamp President” pronouncements, enough tiny little white ladies saying they felt “threatened” (not to mention enough audible, shared glee when another successful black man is “put in his place“) — well, add all that up and throw in all the other horrible, nasty, brutish racism that has been on display with greater regularity in the past few months, and you’ve got a situation where it is simply far too easy to imagine someone with access to a gun getting the notion that maybe it’d be a good thing to use that gun on the uppity black man who’s running around threatening Jan Brewer and the Statue of Liberty.

I remind myself that this President has the best, deepest Secret Service protection ever received by any American leader. I remind myself that they are talented, trained, and far more aware of the threats than I am. I remind myself that worrying avails neither me nor the President anything.

And then I remember that back in 2009, the Secret Service was already reporting that “threats against the president’s life [are up] by 400 percent from his predecessor,” and I start to worry again, if for no other reason than that I have a very hard time believing that the number of death threats has decreased in the meantime.

Arizona Governor Jan Brewer and her ilk may have gleefully moved on to fog horns and disco balls, but I do wonder if they have any real grasp of the fact that people need only be a little bit unhinged to respond to the rhetoric with violence. That a man who yells “string him up!” at a campaign event might later decide to try to put Barack Hussein Obama in his place, too. Like, I don’t know, maybe one of the guys seen in a photo posing with guns and a bullet-riddled image of the President’s face just the other day, and posted to the Facebook page of an Arizona police officer.

And then I wonder what will happen to this country if the Secret Service slips up, just once.

The boy responds to I Have a Dream.

Last year, the boy’s 6th grade Language Arts class was given an assignment to write a speech about their own dreams, in the style and tone of the “I Have a Dream” speech. When Ted (that’s his name) asked to read his to us at dinner that night, I had no idea what to expect — but the tears were pouring down my face before he got a third of the way through.

In honor of Dr. King, and with great, enormous respect for this boy who I am lucky enough to call my own, I decided to post his speech here then, and am doing so again now. It’s a great way to start thinking about what Dr. King called on us to do — how far we’ve come, and how far we have left to go.

My Dream

I say to you today, my fellow Americans, that in 40 years we have accomplished something phenomenal. On April 4th, 1968, the legendary Martin Luther King Jr. was assassinated for believing in freedom. On November 4th, 2008, exactly 40 years and 7 months later, a black man known as Barack Obama was given the position as the most powerful individual figure in the United States. Yes, what we did could be classified as amazing. However, our work is far from done in the endless struggle known as human rights. Many kinds of people still fight for equality. It is my dream that all of these people will be treated with equality and kindness.

I have a dream, my fellow Americans, that one day this nation will stand as one, hand in hand, with every race and religion. Muslims, Hispanics, Asians, Black People, White People, all people will regard each other as equals.

I have a dream, my fellow Americans, that one day you can love the person you choose to love and no one can say otherwise. That you can devote yourself to someone and not be discriminated no matter what gender they are. That the only boundary love will know is the content of your character.

I have a dream, my fellow Americans, that one day money will not serve as a boundary between humans, but  instead only serve to bring them closer. The rich class and the middle class and the poor class will live together, supporting and caring for each other.

I have a dream, my fellow Americans, that one day all of God’s people, regardless of their race, age, economic status or any other separation that serves as a dividing line will be united as one. Many people have been fighting the war for equality for too long. It is my hope that the end of this war is on the horizon.

My fellow Americans, I have a dream today!

I have a dream that one day no one in this world will be able to push you down, regardless of any stereotypes. I have a dream that in all 50 states Muslim Boys and Muslim Girls and homosexual boys and homosexual girls and rich boys and rich girls and poor boys and poor girls and all of the boys and girls of America will join together and nothing in the world will be able to stop them.

My fellow Americans, I have a dream today!

I have a dream that one day no matter what your community thinks of you, or what your friends think of you, or what you think of you, when you have a choice to make, your decision is the one you trust.

This is my dream. This is my hope, my wish, my desire, my own personal Messiah. I have a firm belief that this day will come, slowly but surely, and when it comes all classifications of people will join in a splendorous celebration of connection and peace. When this day comes the earth itself will cry out: “I have witnessed a miracle!”

written by Ted L____, 6th grader

January 13th, 2011

“Like a girl” – yes, again.

Maj. Heather "Lucky" Penney

I thought about the following (first posted in November, then re-upped in March) when I learned of a hurricane hunter (yes, that’s a real job) in the US Air Force Reserve named Capt. Nicole Mitchell. She flew back and forth and back and forth through Hurricane Irene a couple of weeks ago, in order to gather data as the storm was unfolding.

Then I thought about it again in the lead-up to the 9/11 anniversary, when I learned of then-Lt. (now Maj.) Heather “Lucky” Penney, one of the two F-16 pilots who had taken to the sky that morning in order to bring down Flight 93 — by ramming their own planes into it. Which is to say: Before the Flight 93 passengers sacrificed their lives so that the terrorists’ mission would fail, Lt. Penney and her commander were offering up their own.

A third plane hit the Pentagon, and almost at once came word that a fourth plane could be on the way, maybe more. The jets would be armed within an hour, but somebody had to fly now, weapons or no weapons.

“Lucky, you’re coming with me,” barked Col. Marc Sasseville.

They were gearing up in the pre-flight life-support area when Sasseville, struggling into his flight suit, met her eye.

“I’m going to go for the cockpit,” Sasseville said.

She replied without hesitating.

“I’ll take the tail.”

So. The next time someone says “like a girl” to me, I think I might counter with “oh, you mean like an F-16 pilot willing to sacrifice her life in defense of her country?” And the next time some clothing company sells dreck like this (as Forever 21 is this fall, if they haven’t yet responded to numerous requests that they stop)

I think I’ll sneak out in the dark of night and cover their mannikins, guerrilla-style, with truth like this

because pilots are badass, and badass girls use their brains.

…like a girl.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately, for reasons I’m not entirely clear on, about the ways we use words that mean “female human” to insult each other.

There’s “scream like a little girl,” of course, which, you know — ok. Little girls are high-pitched. It’s meant as an insult, but there’s some grain of reality to be found in it. Perhaps I will someday “scream like a linebacker” or “like a South Pacific Islander.” Or something.

But once you get past “scream,” there’s:

  1. Throw like a girl.
  2. Run like a girl.
  3. Hit like a girl.

Not to mention:

  1. Pussy out.
  2. Be a pussy.
  3. Be a little bitch.
  4. Be X’s bitch.

And so on.

In the largest, broadest sense, I believe that these kinds of insults hurt us all, male and female alike. The recent bullying-related suicides of several gay-or-maybe-gay boys have their roots deeply buried in our fear of males behaving in anything but a society-approved-manly fashion. Witness the clear discomfort experienced by adults when five year old boys choose to wear girls’ clothing.

Witness that, and then think about women in pants suits, or girls in jeans. When women adopt and co-opt a traditionally male form of dress, we are empowering ourselves. When men adopt and co-opt a traditionally female form of dress — they get beat up. Because we do not value women as we value men, and we are frightened when men choose to give up the prerogatives of their gender. So, yes, everyone suffers when we continue to maintain and perpetuate misogyny.

But women and girls suffer more. Because we are the ones you shouldn’t be like.

I’ve known this for years, of course. I’m not new to noticing misogyny. I’m not new to feeling its sting and pushing at its edges. But it’s suddenly struck me how powerfully we telegraph our contempt for women merely by opening our mouths and starting to talk.

You throw like a girl. Don’t pussy out on me, bro! I’m gonna make that job my bitch! Close your eyes for a moment, and substitute any other person-naming noun/pejorative for the words “girl,” “pussy,” and “bitch.”

You throw like an Asian. Don’t Hymie out on me, bro! I’m gonna make that job my nigger!

Suddenly, the mind reels a bit.

Good lord, like most non-racist white people, I had a hard time just typing the n-word — but absolutely stand-up folks, men and women alike, without an otherwise bigoted bone in their bodies, will insult each other with words that describe me and my body, with nary a second thought. They will do it loudly, among friends, in print, on television, in movies. It’s just, you know: The way we talk.

But I cannot help but believe that we hear these things, we women and girls, we hear them, and we steep in them, and they go in and down and twist and burrow into us, and they damage us. They leave vapor trails in our thoughts and scars on our hearts. They tell us, day in and day out, that we are weak, we are not worthy, our bodies are the stuff of mockery.

When you’re someone’s bitch? You’re under their violently-wrested control. When you’re a pussy? You’re untrustworthy. When you’re a girl? You are just plain weak.

And who the fuck would want to be any of that?

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