All posts by emilylhauser

Israel legalizes ‘outpost’ settlements.

The illegal outpost of Givat Asaf is among the four outposts to be declared legal.

The illegal outpost of Givat Asaf is among the four outposts to be declared legal.

By now the story almost writes itself: A high-ranking representative of the U.S. government—in this case, John Kerry—is slated to arrive soon in Israel, part of an effort to reinvigorate a peace process described as “moribund” since at least the early aughts. That effort is already making everyone mad, and Israel has taken the same steps it always takes to ensure that the U.S. government understands exactly where it stands: It’s expanding settlements.

The state said that it will act to legalize four West Bank outposts for which a delimitation order was issued in 2003 by the Israel Defense Forces GOC Central Command. Such an order allows the army to demolish at any time structures located within the delimited area.

In 2007, attorneys Michael Sfard and Shlomi Zecharya petitioned the High Court on behalf of the Israeli anti-settlement organization Peace Now, to implement the order.

…construction in the outposts continued despite the order. The High Court requested clarification from the state, and on Tuesday a detailed opinion concerning each one of the four outpost[s] was submitted to the court. In the document, the government said it had taken steps in recent weeks to retroactively authorize the outposts, which were built without official permission.

Built illegally, even by Israel’s standards; acknowledged as illegal, and thus ordered demolished; construction continues, despite state acknowledgement of the illegality of the outposts’ very existence—so sure, ten years later, why not rejigger your country’s laws to provide a patina of respectability? Why not give cover and support to lawbreakers in a manner that is not only insulting to all Israelis who respect the law, but which also flies in the face of the very thing to which your greatest ally has called you to commit yourself time and again?

There’s plenty that’s infuriating in this story, but there’s absolutely nothing new. If you’re a settler, you learned long ago that if you just push hard enough, you can do whatever you want. You will not be held accountable for illegal construction, any more than you might be for setting fire to Palestinian fields, or attacking Palestinian villages.

And if you’re an American diplomat, you learned nearly as long ago that pretty much no matter what you say, no matter what you do, no matter what international law or the global community might say—Israel’s going to keep building. Keep expanding its hold on the West Bank until it has a complete and final hold on all those lands it now occupies illegally, and has ground down or kicked out as many of those lands’ legal occupants as humanly possible. Keep going until a two-state piece is literally impossible, the Palestinians have given up all hope, and Israel reigns triumphant.

At least, as an American and Israeli citizen, I would hope that the Administration and State Department understand by now that that’s the plan. Because that’s the plan. I mean surely, any sentient being with two eyes in their head can see that that’s the plan? Even just one eye?

The only people who might, conceivably, change the plan’s course are all those same Americans. Only if and when it becomes diplomatically untenable for Israel to continue down this illegal and destructive course will my Israeli government even consider throwing on the brakes. Only if and when a U.S. government takes a firm stand and sticks by it will Israelis and Palestinians have so much as a chance at the peace that Kerry is working so hard to achieve.

But let me stress: The plan’s end-goal is, despite everything, unachievable. Israel will not be able to convince the Palestinians to give up all hope, and the Jewish State will ultimately be lost in the effort. At best, all Israel will be able to achieve is a single political entity in which constant, low-level ethnic violence makes any semblance of normal life a distant dream (which is to say: an even worse version of what already exists). That’s the best case scenario. I shudder to think about the other options.

It may already be too late for Kerry to do anything, frankly. Nothing and no one in the current Israeli government gives me any reason to believe that Israel has any interest in turning the country’s Titanic around. For what it’s worth, those who support the settlement project (which is virtually the entire government) appear to be genuine in their assumption that they can force their will on the world.

And why shouldn’t they?

Just like the settlers, Israel’s governments have never been held accountable for their actions. Witness Kerry’s upcoming trip.

Crossposted at Open Zion/The Daily Beast.

1 Comment
by emilylhauser on May 17, 2013  •  Permalink
Posted in Domestic Politics, Israel/Palestine, The Daily Beast
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Posted by emilylhauser on May 17, 2013

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On Netanyahu’s in-flight ‘rest chamber.’

el alI was not going to begrudge the Netanyahus their ice cream.

When it emerged in February that Israel’s Prime Minister was spending hundreds of dollars every month at a local ice cream parlor, I honestly thought “C’mon, now. Let the man have his ice cream!” Because you know what? He’s the Prime Minister, and I’m comfortable with the notion that heads of state get little perks here and there. You want $2,700 worth of ice cream every year? Go ahead. You’re Prime Minister.

But dagnabbit, even in those rare moments in which I’m feeling magnanimous toward Bibi, he has to come along and ruin it.

You see, on Monday we learned that the Netanyahus have been extravagant with much more than just dessert. According to Ynet, between 2009 and 2012 the Prime Minister’s food and hosting bills more than doubled; cleaning expenses went from $17,000 to $30,000; and “representation expenses”—clothes, shoes, makeup, and hair—“nearly doubled.”

And then, then—then there was the in-flight rest chamber.

You heard me:

Per Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu’s office’s request, a special “rest chamber” was installed in the airplane which took the PM and his wife to Margaret Thatcher’s funeral in London.

According to the report, the chamber included a double-bed and was surrounded by four walls to give the couple absolute privacy.

… The airline received $427,000 for the flight, $127,000 of which were paid for the chamber and its complex installation, which required electricians, engineers, porters and additional workers.

… Netanyahu’s office stated: “The flight was scheduled for midnight after a hectic day. The following day, the PM was supposed to represent the State of Israel in a number of formal international events, including meetings with Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper and British Prime Minister David Cameron.

“In light of this, it is appropriate that Israel’s Prime Minister will be able to rest the night between such busy days.”

Close to $3,000 a year for ice cream? Okay, sure. But $30,000 worth of wardrobe and hair, and a $127,000 bed? For what was likely a five-hour flight? Are you kidding me with this?

In all my years of watching the Bibi Show (a show which began for me back in the 90s and includes such highlights as Hate Speech from a Balcony; Inciting The Western Wall Tunnel Riots; and Making Stuff Up in Front of Congress), I’ve never known him to have anything more than a slippery grasp of any reality other than his own political prospects.

For instance, I have no doubt that he did not intend to give aid and comfort to Rabin’s assassin-to-be on that balcony—but that’s what he did. I similarly have no doubt that he did not want to see 17 soldiers killed in the tunnel riots (though I’m less convinced that he gave much of a thought to the 70 Palestinians who also died)—but that’s what happened. And when he stood before Congress and talked as if 20 years of history hadn’t happened? Well, actually…okay, that time he got exactly what he wanted, because America proceeded to continue to do nothing to advance a two-state peace. (But I would argue that was a bad thing!)

How badly did he miss the mark regarding his flight to Thatcher’s funeral? Here’s how bad: Confronted with the expensive bed, the Prime Minister’s Office actually said the following:

According to the PM’s instructions, the expenses for the visit, which lasted less than 48 hours, were reduced as much as possible.

Bibi, I tried. I really did. And I continue to think your ice cream budget is really not that big a deal.

But there is no way in Actually-Real-Reality that a $127,000 in-flight bed (for a five-hour flight!) can be considered anything other than sheer, egocentric folly of the highest order. It certainly can’t be considered a “reduction” of expenses.

And in a country in which upcoming budget cuts mean 40,000 more families will soon find themselves living below the poverty line? It’s not too far from obscene.

5 Comments
by emilylhauser on May 15, 2013  •  Permalink
Posted in Israel/Palestine, The Daily Beast
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Posted by emilylhauser on May 15, 2013

http://emilylhauserinmyhead.wordpress.com/2013/05/15/on-netanyahus-in-flight-rest-chamber/

Bigotry is bigotry.

http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Wayne_Brady_APLA.jpg

Wayne Brady at the AIDS Project Los Angeles’ annual AIDS Walk in 2006.

I like Wayne Brady a lot. I’ve liked him a lot since the first moment I saw him on Whose Line is it Anyway? (and am so happy he’ll be joining the show’s new incarnation this summer), and have continued to like him a lot in dramatic roles (the much-lamented Kevin Hill comes to mind), in self-effacing roles (thank you, Dave Chapelle) — hell, I even like the man in commercials. Between the singing, the dancing, the acting, and the comedy, he is a phenomenal talent and I will never understand why he isn’t more of a household name. Get on that America!

Ok, I think I understand part of why Brady isn’t more of a household name.

a) He’s a minority entertainer and (as a long list of minority entertainers can attest) while it’s hard for anyone to follow their passion, it’s even harder for people of color in the entertainment business, and b) he’s a black man who doesn’t present as angry or threatening or magical, and Hollywood just doesn’t know what to do with black men who don’t present as angry or threatening or magical.

Which is, in turn, why he’s often the butt of people’s utterly unimaginative jokes about non-threatening black men. Bill Maher, for instance, often uses the name “Wayne Brady” as a kind of shorthand for “black man who doesn’t fit the stereotype that I like to employ when talking about Real Black Men.”

Bill Maher, on the other hand, is a bona fide bigot, and of the worst kind — the self-satisfied, ostensibly liberal kind. The kind that thinks its ok to be a misogynist, or an Islamophobe, or to make sweeping and destructive statements about what Real Black Men are like, statements that traffic in the dehumanization of whole segments of society, because it’s just a joke. Or because any right-thinking liberal would hate Muslims, because, ewww Muslims, mirite? Because he’s high on his own fumes, basically.

So, to sum up: I really like Wayne Brady, and I really dislike Bill Maher.

Thus, when I saw that Wayne Brady was publicly responding to Maher’s bigotry, I was initially thrilled, because come on now. It’s enough already! Bill Maher is an uber-wealthy, influential, straight white dude happily ensconced in America’s entertainment elite — making jokes at the expense of anyone who is not in (roughly) the same position is ugly and lazy. Speak truth to power, Bill, I know you can! But stop using people as props in your apparently endless display of smug self-regard. Please.

And then.

Then I watched the interview Brady gave to Marc Lamont Hill on HuffPost Live, and here’s the thing. I’m with him — I’m so totally with him! — except for one thing. See if you can spot it:

When [Maher] starts to drag me in to use me as the cultural lynch-pin in his “[Barack Obama's] not black enough” argument, that’s bullshit. Because a) Bill Maher has never walked in my shoes, nor in any black man’s shoes… Just because you’ve been with a black woman or two, and I’ve seen some of them, it’s questionable if they were women, just because you’ve done that…now you lived the black experience? Oh, now you’re down? No.

Dude, come on!

I do not know the black experience, male or female. But I know bigotry when I see it, and gay/trans*-bashing in the course of telling someone to drop their racist bullshit is just not ok. Not ok! Not even remotely, a teeny-tiny bit, ok.

I don’t get handed a get-out-of-jail-free card if I say something racist because I’m a woman and I’ve lived with misogyny; gay folks don’t get handed get-out-of-jail-free cards if they launch into a step-and-fetch-it act. And black comedians are no more handed get-out-of-jail-free cards for homo- and/or transphobic jokes than anyone else (not to mention the misogyny inherent in the quip. It was a very, very full quip).

Mr. Brady — you’re incredibly talented. Overwhelmingly talented. Gobsmackingly talented. Moreover, you’re absolutely right about Bill Maher, I know you’re on the side of the angels when it comes to LGBTQ rights, and I suspect you’re on the side of the angels when it comes to women’s rights.

But it is lazy, unkind, and bigoted to prop your laughs on sweeping and destructive cultural attitudes about Real Women, attitudes that trade in the dehumanization of LGBTQ people and What Real Women Should Look Like and Who Real Men Date. So please — stop. And if you have a moment, you might even apologize. Because aside from anything else, and not to put too fine a point on it, but stuff like that feeds into an atmosphere that literally gets people killed.

6 Comments
by emilylhauser on May 14, 2013  •  Permalink
Posted in Body, Do the Right Thing, Entertainment, Rant, Social Justice
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Posted by emilylhauser on May 14, 2013

http://emilylhauserinmyhead.wordpress.com/2013/05/14/bigotry-is-bigotry/

More information about me than you maybe needed.

This is me:

Chandler Bing a hoot*

This is also me:

Chandler Bing choke someone*

And you wonder why I’m self-employed.

source: BuzzFeed

 

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by emilylhauser on May 14, 2013  •  Permalink
Posted in Entertainment, Good Stuff
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Posted by emilylhauser on May 14, 2013

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The Church of Scotland’s rookie errors.

The High Kirk of St. Giles in Edinburgh, where my ancestor's Regimental Colors were lain.

The High Kirk of St. Giles in Edinburgh, where my ancestor’s Regimental Colors were lain.

Dear Church of Scotland,

I’ve read your Report on the ‘Promised Land,’ and, oh dear. I know that since its publication you’ve met with the Board of Deputies of British Jews, and that as a result you’re planning a new introduction, “to set the context for the report and give clarity about some of the language used.” But from my perspective, you’ll need a great deal more than a new introduction and “clarity.”

As it happens, I was in Scotland when the report came out. As it further happens, my mother is ethnically half Scottish, and indeed, my great-great-great-(take a breath)-great-great grandfather Alexander McQueen’s Regimental Colors are lain away in the High Kirk of St. Giles in Edinburgh. He joined King George III’s army, you see, in the course of the Clearances.

You remember the Clearances, right? They were the brutal removal of people from their lands on largely, but not exclusively religious grounds, after the final, pitiless squashing of the Jacobite Rebellions. My mother’s ancestors had family on both sides of that fight, loyalists and Jacobites both, at the Battle of Culloden in 1746. As I’m sure you recall, that was a deeply complicated conflict, one in which faith, land ownership, and generations-old grudges played out across bloody battlefields for over a century, shadows of which can still be seen in the arguments surrounding the upcoming Scottish independence referendum today.

These stories are in my blood, alongside the facts of my own life as an American-Israeli Jew. I’m a Zionist, but I’m the kind of Zionist who’s criticized the Israeli government so vehemently that I’ve gotten death threats, so please don’t misunderstand where I stand on the conflict: I’ve advocated for two-states since the first intifada, and have done so not just because I recognize the importance of peace for my own people, but because the essential dignity and human rights of the Palestinian people demand it.

And wow, this document is not helpful.

The entire report, start to finish, is grounded in two rookie errors of such enormity that its difficult to take anything in it seriously. Let’s begin with the basic misunderstanding of nationalism.

While it’s certainly true that the Hebrew Scriptures are just that for the Jewish community—Scripture—they are also heritage, something very akin to history. The modern mind knows that the history contained in the Tanakh is often not literal, but these are the stories that bound the Israelites together, the very heritage to which Jews turned, and were forced to turn, for centuries on end.

I say “were forced” because Jews were always a people apart, whether they wanted to be or not. You probably remember Edward I as the ruthless Hammer of the Scots; Jews remember him for the persecutions that culminated in the 1290 Edict of Expulsion, by which he stripped English Jews of their possessions and forced them from England entirely. This sort of behavior was and remains woefully familiar, going all the way back to the time when our people was brutally removed from our lands on largely, but not exclusively religious grounds after the final, pitiless squashing of the Great Revolt by the Romans.

Though I will admit that Jews’ relationship to our history is complicated, and that we sometimes complicate it ourselves, nationalism is a modern idea, conceived less than 200 years ago—thus, your description of the prophet Jonah as a “Jewish nationalist,” for instance, is at best an anachronism. From the mid-19th century onward, peoples that shared a history, a language, and a culture came to be understood by the global community as nations; Jews had shared all these for countless generations. The Tanakh played a central role, but if you think (as you seem to) that David Ben Gurion was looking at the Bible as a purely religious text, you need to read a biography or two.

Here we come to the report’s second rookie error, the assumption (shared by too many people, including too many Israelis) that if not the Bible then the Holocaust serves to justify Zionism. To view Zionism (aka: Jewish nationalism) in this light is to disregard the history of global thought, norms, and mores, as well as to ignore, say, the 1909 founding of Tel Aviv, or the 1918 establishment of Hebrew University.

A third error is scattered throughout Report on the ‘Promised Land’—but it’s so ancient that it can hardly be considered “rookie.” You, the Church of Scotland, attempt to tell the Jewish people how to read our holy texts—and just to sweeten the deal, you not only don’t bother to consult any Jewish theologians, you actually lean on the New Testament to correct our misunderstanding of our own faith. Again, it will take more than a new introduction to set this kind of thinking right.

Zionism is not (no matter how it may sometimes look, and I acknowledge and decry the confusion) a religious movement. Zionism is Jewish nationalism, rooted in a shared and ancient heritage—not unlike Palestinian nationalism, just better-known. Either we accept the paradigm of nationalism, or we don’t (and given the Church’s position on Scottish independence, I presume that you do).

And to the extent that Jews (Zionist or otherwise) are going to make religious decisions about our identity based on our Scriptures, we don’t need Christians to tell us how to do so.

As an interfaith activist and advocate for a two-state solution, I would never presume to tell Christians or Muslims, Palestinians or Scots how to read their history or holy books; neither would I suggest that Palestinian violence renders Palestinian nationalism inoperable or illegitimate.

if you want to call on Israel to end the patently illegal occupation and respect the political and human rights of the people we occupy, I urge you to do so in a manner that reflects both an understanding of world history, and genuine respect for the humanity of all involved. Including Zionists, whether you like us or not.

Crossposted from Open Zion/The Daily Beast.

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by emilylhauser on May 13, 2013  •  Permalink
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Posted by emilylhauser on May 13, 2013

http://emilylhauserinmyhead.wordpress.com/2013/05/13/the-church-of-scotlands-rookie-errors/

This is just cool, I don’t care who you are.

The ultra-cool Canadian astronaut/commander of the International Space Station Commander Chris Hadfield will be coming home soon (tomorrow? I think? in the course of Monday), and the internet (specifically Twitter and YouTube) will be a poorer place for his return to atmo. Hereunder you will find his version of David Bowie’s Space Oddity, as recorded on the Space Station (!), followed by video proof that you can’t cry in space (and now I know why I never became an astronaut). Make sure you go to YouTube and check out the rest of his video oeuvre, including “Nail Clipping in Space,” “Zero-G Guitar: Re-Learning How To Play in Space,” and “Space Taxes.”

Now if someone would only dig up some dirt on this man, because he’s a little too elaborately wonderful. Even with his Rather Canadian Mustache.

*

2 Comments
by emilylhauser on May 12, 2013  •  Permalink
Posted in Entertainment, Geekery, Good Stuff, Music
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Posted by emilylhauser on May 12, 2013

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“Follow your passion” – ha. Ha! Hahahaha! No, but seriously.

Um.

Um.

It’s graduation season, and as in every graduation season, one hears a lot of successful people telling halls of not-yet-successful-people to “follow their passion.” Following one’s passion is, we are given to understand, the only real way to live a fulfilling life, a life in which work is more than mere chore, a life in which one meets one’s end with a smile on one’s face.

Coupla problems with that. Number 1 being that the people doing the talking are successful.

I know that successful role models (in graduation exercises, as in magazine editorials and TV commercials) are meant to serve as inspiration, but they wind being perceived of as the norm: If you do X (where X generally equals “work hard, believe in yourself, and most of all, follow your passion”) you can be like me.

And the thing is: No.

Most people who follow their passion, even most talented people who follow their passion, will not ever be as successful as the people invited to address graduating classes. Most really good ball players will never make it to the majors; most really good interior designers will not get their own furniture lines; most really good musicians will not go to the Grammys; most really good scientists will not land a position on the next Mars Rover team (and, it bears noting, most really good writers will not wind up at The Atlantic. Not that I’m bitter).

We don’t like to think about it, but this is what sports teams, and the Grammys, and any and all hiring practices represent: A winnowing down of the vast field of competition, ultimately to that small number who will wind up making it big.

Talent and dedication are crucial pieces of the puzzle, but much of this process is subjective, or biased, or blatantly unfair, and a lot of it comes right back to the simple and deeply troubling facts of economic disparities. It’s easier to achieve your dream if you can afford to work for free for a couple-few years; it’s easier still if you’ve spent your entire life around people who have already made it. There’s a point at which talent (or belief in oneself) has absolutely nothing to do with it.

“But Emily!” you say. “I don’t want to win a Grammy or even get my own furniture line! I just want to be able to pay middle-class bills with my passion!”

And here’s the other thing: Sometimes even that’s impossible. It’s been fairly impossible since the dawn of time, in fact.

The whole notion of following one’s passion is so steeped historic, economic, and social privilege that it fairly reeks. For the vast majority of human existence you were grateful if you and yours ate today and could know with some certainty that you would also eat tomorrow and next week. In fact, without access to actual data, I feel safe in saying that this remains true for the majority of humans alive today. Those of us who can even entertain the notion of following our passion are already living with some degree of good fortune, however uninspiring we may find it (“I get to eat tomorrow? That’s it?”).

Aside from that, though, certain fields have simply never been money-makers. I’m a writer, and I can assure you: Most writers do not pay most of their bills with their words, or at least: Not with the ones it gave them joy to write.

I think also of our beloved ex-babysitter, a talented lacrosse player who followed his passion to college and is finishing up what is more than likely going to be his last season of play even as I type. Here he is in his early 20s, a few months from graduation, and his passion is closing its doors. Can he play in an amateur league and/or coach, and would these things give him joy? Yes, and I would hope so. But pay his bills for the rest of his life? Probably not. (PS I can’t tell you how sad this makes me. You should see him talk about his sport. I wish I could pay him to play, myself).

But of perhaps greatest relevance to today’s graduating seniors is the economy that awaits them. As comic artist Matt Bors notes in his book Life Begins At Incorporation (and let’s not forget that a comic artist is more than a little likely to know about the topsy-turvy world of passion-following):

“Barely scraping by and taking what you can get is the new normal. Having 500 people show up to apply for jobs at Walmart, who pursues a strategy of paying people such low wages that they qualify for government assistance, that’s the new normal.”

So when we tell people to follow their passion, and hold fabulously successful role models up to them, we’re not only misleading them, we’re actually being kind of mean — unless we don’t stop there.

Follow your passion – for as long you possibly can, even if it doesn’t pay enough, even if it tires you out, even if it doesn’t seem to be leading anywhere, because at the end of your life, you’ll be grateful that you tried. Follow your passion – but understand that it may cost you in time and money, and that it may never be easy, even as it gives you that jolt supplied only by doing a thing you love. Follow your passion — but work hard at everything you do, try your best at everything, let others help, help them when they need it, be kind and accept kindness. Follow your passion – but know when to let go. Know that peace of mind and being able to afford to fix your car are also good, life-affirming things.

I’m following my passion. Some of the money I make comes from the words I loved writing, but most of it doesn’t, and if I had to actually support my children, I would have to stop. My passion-following is entirely dependent on my well-employed co-head-of-household, as is the passion-following of many people around the world. This is one of the ways in which we accept kindnesses.

I would never tell someone to not follow their passion — but I would tell them that it may come at a price, that it may never be easy, and that at the end of the day, sometimes letting go is a brave and life-affirming act. Try — try your best, try your hardest, try with all your heart — but don’t be cruel to yourself if it doesn’t work out.

At the end of the day, at the end of our lives, we all of us will have to look back and weigh what we did. You’re not likely to be Bill Gates, Adele, or RA Dickey, but you can make choices that are honest and satisfying. The trick, I think, lies less in following your passion, and more in making sure you listen more to yourself than to anyone else.

Which I suspect means that you should feel free to ignore every word of the above. Which is ok, too.

7 Comments
by emilylhauser on May 10, 2013  •  Permalink
Posted in Humanity, Mental Rambling
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Posted by emilylhauser on May 10, 2013

http://emilylhauserinmyhead.wordpress.com/2013/05/10/follow-your-passion-ha-ha-hahahaha-no-but-seriously/

Rebranding reality for Jerusalem Day.

JerusalemToday is Jerusalem Day in Israel. The central narrative underpinning what is at best a quasi-holiday (in my experience, few Israelis outside of Orthodox Jerusalem pay it any mind) is that Jerusalem was “re-united” in the 1967 Six Day War, and thus the city now stands as Israel’s “eternal, undivided capital.” In order for that to be true, though, we must write Palestinians out of Jerusalem’s history all together—an effort that Jerusalem Mayor Nir Barkat appears more than eager to make.

In a holiday interview with the Times of Israel, Barkat suggested “that if the Palestinians wanted a capital in Jerusalem they could rename Ramallah ‘Jerusalem’ or ‘northern Jerusalem’”:

It was in Jerusalem’s DNA to be a united city, under sole Jewish rule, he said. “By definition, that DNA cannot be divided.” Palestinian demands for some degree of sovereignty in the city, largely endorsed by the international community as integral to an Israeli-Palestinian accommodation, were unacceptable and unworkable, he said.

First of all, not to get all sciencey on a politics blog, but just for the record, DNA is divided literally all the time (it happens in the mitosis phase of the cell cycle).

But surely more to the point: Jerusalem is not only essentially divided in its lived reality—the city’s current manifestation bears almost no resemblance to historically Jewish Jerusalem. If Mayor Barkat wants to learn more about Jerusalem’s actual history (as opposed to the fever dream to which he and the national government subscribe), he could do no better than to read Simon Sebag Montefiore’s masterful Jerusalem: A Biography (and yes, that’s “Montefiore.” The author is a descendent of Moses Montefiore, whose largess was responsible for so much of Jewish Jerusalem’s modern fortunes—not least, that beautiful windmill).

We can only posit an exclusively Jewish “DNA” in Jerusalem if we erase the past. If we ignore the millions of Palestinian Arabs who have lived in the city over the decades and centuries, if we close our eyes to their mosques, churches, schools, hospitals, and homes, if we refuse to listen to the modern-day people and leadership when they say—as they have said, throughout the entire history of this conflict—that Jerusalem is their national capital, and that only by sharing it is peace even conceivable. We have to erase history and posit a Palestinian people that is, somehow, essentially different from other people. Essentially different—and this is perhaps the most important point—from us.

Back in the day, when the global powers wanted to deny the Jews a state, no less a Zionist than Theodore Herzl suggested that Jewish nationalists might be able to make do (temporarily) with Uganda. Also bandied about were Canada, Angola, Australia, Texas, and the countries that are today Iraq and Libya—essentially, folks suggested that we might be willing to go someplace else and call it “Zion.”

These efforts were rejected, of course, and rightfully so. A people that has been thrown off its land and pined and prayed for return across the generations cannot be sold a knock-off, wannabe home. The Jews of yesteryear knew who they were, and they knew where they belonged. Clumsy re-branding was not going to cut the mustard.

Only by presuming that the Palestinians are somehow different from us—less devoted, less honest, less human—can we seriously suggest that they have no claim to our shared holy city, and that they should probably just give an existing city a new name.

But that’s the lie on which the entire premise of Jerusalem Day rests, so it’s no surprise that Jerusalem’s mayor is sticking with it.

Maybe if we’re really lucky, Mr. Mayor, Jerusalem’s Palestinians will move to Uganda.

Crossposted from The Daily Beast/Open Zion.

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by emilylhauser on May 8, 2013  •  Permalink
Posted in Israel/Palestine, The Daily Beast
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Posted by emilylhauser on May 8, 2013

http://emilylhauserinmyhead.wordpress.com/2013/05/08/rebranding-reality-for-jerusalem-day/

All the Spocks. All of them.

You’ve probably already seen this. Or maybe you haven’t and now you’re going to be endlessly grateful to me. I’ve shilled for a cool car with geek cred in the past, and hereunder, I do so again.

OMG. So awesome.

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(The only thing is, I kind of want to give Mr. Nimoy a haircut).

h/t my old pal Bobby, and Jalopnik.

UPDATEUPDATEUPDATE

It has been called to my attention (see comments) that I skipped a Spock! And so I did. Here is the best Spock of all – what he lacks in acting skills, he more than makes up for in good-dogginess:

Spock may 2013

h/t my sister, aka: Spock’s mom.

15 Comments
by emilylhauser on May 7, 2013  •  Permalink
Posted in Geekery, Good Stuff
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Posted by emilylhauser on May 7, 2013

http://emilylhauserinmyhead.wordpress.com/2013/05/07/all-the-spocks-all-of-them/

I’m back! I’m catching up! Have some good music!

A literal hour after my taxi pulled away from O’Hare on Saturday night (following my truly terrific Scottish vacation – about which more later), I was at a bar mitzvah. Can’t slow my roll!

In fact, I’d actually missed the vast majority of the event, as services were in process even as I was boarding my second flight, and subsequent celebratory events unfolded in the course of my hours in the air. But I made it for the tail end — and what a cool tail end it was! Our friends held their son’s party at the uber-cool local venue Fitzgeralds, and hired a local band, Canasta — and Canasta, it transpires, is terrific. They describe themselves as orchestral pop, a genre which I generally do not much enjoy (you can miss me with your Arcade Fire), but man. I love these guys. It has a lot to do with lead singer Matt Priest’s rich voice, but goes far beyond that.

To add to the cool factor, the party favor’s were the band’s t-shirts and both of their CDs, which have been on constant spin in chez Hauser since.

Below is one of my favorite tracks (so far, who knows where I’ll go with this. I also really, really like some tracks for which I can’t find clips, and they also do a wicked cover of No Diggity).

Enjoy! And check them out further by clicking here! And if you’re in Chicago, they’re going to be playing the Taste on July 13 at 5:20 pm, and I do believe that me and mine will be attending.

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BBL, I promise.

 

1 Comment
by emilylhauser on May 7, 2013  •  Permalink
Posted in Good Stuff, Housekeeping, Music
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Posted by emilylhauser on May 7, 2013

http://emilylhauserinmyhead.wordpress.com/2013/05/07/im-back-im-catching-up-have-some-good-music/

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